These ideas were incorporated into ceremonies of our past couples – some to replace the lighting of the unity candle and some in addition to it. Including a special custom will not only create a ceremony different from what guests expect, but it also can be the start of a tradition that you pass on as your new family grows.

1 – Basket of Prayers and Wishes
Have a basket filled with polished rocks or gemstones (you can even have them imprinted or engraved) or custom pewter tokens. As ushers hand out the ceremony programs, also have them tell guests to take a rock or token from the basket. Then, during the ceremony set aside a time when the officiant asks all guests to hold onto their rock or token and send a wish or say or a prayer for the couple. On the way out of the ceremony, the guests put the rocks or tokens back into the basket and you are left with a basket full of hopes and wishes for your life together.

2. Candle Lighting Ceremony
I absolutely love Christmas Eve church services when every person has their own candle to light the room. So, we included this idea in our wedding and it was really beautiful. We purchased the candles from Madison Church Supply on Park Street. The ushers handed each guest a candle along with a program as they entered the ceremony room. During the ceremony, we lit our unity candle and then row by row, all the guests lit their candles. The best way to do this is have two ushers, each with their own candles, head to the first aisle of guests (usually your parents) and begin lighting the first candle. From there, guests pass along the flame from their candle to the candle of the person next to them. In no time the whole room was filled with beautiful candle light. Once all the guests’ candles were lit, the officiant said a blessing and asked guests to raise their candles as we exited the ceremony.

Keep in mind that you’ll need to check with your church or ceremony site to make sure a candle lighting ceremony is ok to do. Some places have strict rules and fire regulations. Also, if you have families with children at your wedding (which we did) they can choose not to hold a candle.

3. Sand Ceremony
This option carries the same symbol as the unity candle – the joining of separate lives and families into one. To do a sand ceremony you’ll need three vases, one in the center and one on each side. The center vase can either be empty or have sand in it to represent God or your Faith. Each of the two other vases will have different colored sand symbolilzing the separate lives of the bride and groom. During the sand ceremony, you and your fiancee will each pour your vase of sand into the center vase. Many couples will keep the center vase displayed both at the rest of the wedding and later on at home as a reminder of your commitment.

To include children or your parents into the ceremony, simply have an extra vase of sand for each child or set of parents. After you and your fiancee have poured your sand into the center vase, have your children or parents join you at the table and do the same.

4. Rose Ceremony
The Rose Ceremony can be as simple as the bride & groom giving each other a rose, or it can involve the couple giving a rose to parents, grandparents or other special family members.

5. Honey Ceremony
Immediately after the couple is married they each dip one finger into a prepared dish of honey and feed it to the other. This symbolize sweetness of life and the joy and celebration of the day.

6. Rope Tying Ceremony
This option also carries the same symbol as the unity candle – the joining of separate lives and families into one. The groom will hold a metal loop with three pieces of different colored rope already knotted to the loop. The bride will braid together the three pieces of rope – one symbolizing the groom, one symbolizing the bride, and the center rope symbolizing God or their Faith. The braided ropes can be kept as a reminder of your commitment and wedding day.

7. Handfasting/Handwrapping Ceremony
The wrapping of your hands symbolizes the joining of your two hearts in a marriage of strength and unity. The hands symbolize warmth of the heart and the infinity symbol created during the wrapping process stands for eternity or forever.